Feedback Wanted: Incredible Mood Sales Page

This topic contains 8 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by Profile photo of Jonathan Bechtel Jonathan Bechtel 2 years, 11 months ago.

Viewing 9 posts - 1 through 9 (of 9 total)
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  • #292
    Profile photo of Jonathan Bechtel
    Jonathan Bechtel
    Keymaster

    Peeps,

    Would be interested in your opinion on the sales page for Incredible Mood.

    It’s not linked to on my main website, but you can see it here: http://www.healthkismet.com/incredible-mood/

    Not looking for flattery, would be interested in what you think could be improved.

    All critiques welcome.

    Thanks!

    Owner of Health Kismet . Open to answering any and all questions.
    #293
    Profile photo of Sally
    Sally
    Participant

    For the most part I really like it! The design’s attractive and I LOVE some of your illustrations, especially the one with your family. It seems like you put a lot of thought into the product and it has a nice friendly feel to it which I think comes off well.

    I think you might want to rethink the part where it says “Let’s all be poor together.” I get what you’re going for, since you spent so much money on the ingredients but it might come off the wrong way.

    Other htan that…..good job!

    When’s it coming out?

    #294
    Profile photo of Jonathan Bechtel
    Jonathan Bechtel
    Keymaster

    Thanks @sallym.

    It’ll be out sometime later this year….probably early fall, late summer. I went ahead and made some additional changes to the copy. My Mom actually said something similar, so you must be right :)

    I also re-edited the personal section so it’s a *little* less personal.

    Thanks for the advice.

    Owner of Health Kismet . Open to answering any and all questions.
    #295
    Profile photo of Jay Thomas
    Jay Thomas
    Participant

    I personally really liked it. It sounds like you which is really good. I also found the 411 section very interesting and informative. I learned a lot. I also think your customers will learn a lot. Just curious but do you worry that your competitors might learn a lot and try and rip you off?

    #299
    Profile photo of Jonathan Bechtel
    Jonathan Bechtel
    Keymaster

    I personally really liked it. It sounds like you which is really good. I also found the 411 section very interesting and informative. I learned a lot. I also think your customers will learn a lot. Just curious but do you worry that your competitors might learn a lot and try and rip you off?

    Jay…..good point!

    I’m probably less concerned about IP than most people. At the end of the day I think there’s very little you can do to stop someone else from ripping off your formula. You can take just about any product to any manufacturer and get it copied.

    In general I think it’s useful to think about what parts of your business can get copied and which ones can’t, and somewhat ironically, I think your product is always going to be in the former category.

    AFAIK you can’t actually get a patent on a product either.

    Owner of Health Kismet . Open to answering any and all questions.
    #309
    Profile photo of Paul Brynoff
    Paul Brynoff
    Participant

    In general I think it’s good but it’s desperately lacking some social proof.

    Do you have any testimonials yet? I see it’s not advertised on your website yet, so I hope you have some plans to get some smiling faces on there talking about how much better it made them feel after they took it.

    I’ve worked in marketing for 10 years, believe me, you need this.

    Otherwise I agree with the others…..good job. It’s well written and I enjoyed reading about your ingredients and why you used them. It helped this laggard learn a thing or two about formulation.

    #311
    Profile photo of Jonathan Bechtel
    Jonathan Bechtel
    Keymaster

    In general I think it’s good but it’s desperately lacking some social proof.

    Do you have any testimonials yet? I see it’s not advertised on your website yet, so I hope you have some plans to get some smiling faces on there talking about how much better it made them feel after they took it.

    I’ve worked in marketing for 10 years, believe me, you need this.

    Otherwise I agree with the others…..good job. It’s well written and I enjoyed reading about your ingredients and why you used them. It helped this laggard learn a thing or two about formulation.

    @transplanted

    You’re right that it needs testimonials. However, the stuff hasn’t been made yet, so there’s nothing to give to people right now. That’ll hopefully sort itself out in the next couple of weeks if things go well.

    I appreciate the feedback.

    Owner of Health Kismet . Open to answering any and all questions.
    #313
    Profile photo of Paul Brynoff
    Paul Brynoff
    Participant

    <div class=”d4p-bbt-quote-title”>Paul Brynoff wrote:</div>
    In general I think it’s good but it’s desperately lacking some social proof.

    Do you have any testimonials yet? I see it’s not advertised on your website yet, so I hope you have some plans to get some smiling faces on there talking about how much better it made them feel after they took it.

    I’ve worked in marketing for 10 years, believe me, you need this.

    Otherwise I agree with the others…..good job. It’s well written and I enjoyed reading about your ingredients and why you used them. It helped this laggard learn a thing or two about formulation.

    @transplanted

    You’re right that it needs testimonials. However, the stuff hasn’t been made yet, so there’s nothing to give to people right now. That’ll hopefully sort itself out in the next couple of weeks if things go well.

    I appreciate the feedback.

    Well I guess if it hasn’t been made yet then you get a free pass……for now.

    Make sure to let us know when your first batch is ready, we can try it out for you and let it know whether it gives us freckles or not.

    #341
    Profile photo of Jonathan Bechtel
    Jonathan Bechtel
    Keymaster

    <div class=”d4p-bbt-quote-title”>Paul Brynoff wrote:</div>
    In general I think it’s good but it’s desperately lacking some social proof.

    Do you have any testimonials yet? I see it’s not advertised on your website yet, so I hope you have some plans to get some smiling faces on there talking about how much better it made them feel after they took it.

    I’ve worked in marketing for 10 years, believe me, you need this.

    Otherwise I agree with the others…..good job. It’s well written and I enjoyed reading about your ingredients and why you used them. It helped this laggard learn a thing or two about formulation.

    @transplanted

    You’re right that it needs testimonials. However, the stuff hasn’t been made yet, so there’s nothing to give to people right now. That’ll hopefully sort itself out in the next couple of weeks if things go well.

    I appreciate the feedback.

    Well I guess if it hasn’t been made yet then you get a free pass……for now.

    Make sure to let us know when your first batch is ready, we can try it out for you and let it know whether it gives us freckles or not.

    Hi Paul,

    We’re getting ready for the first batch now. Check your PM’s and I’ll go ahead and send you something out.

    Owner of Health Kismet . Open to answering any and all questions.
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